Secret Service: “Dammit, we need to stop playing hide and seek.”
Calvin Coolidge: “You lose.”
Also, apparently as President he often went to dinner parties he hated. Someone finally asked why he went. His reply: “Got to eat somewhere.” Source
HOLY FUCK I AM GOING TO PISS MY PANTS THIS IS HILARIOUS.
I am fucking RAGING that I never thought of this joke first.